Monday, September 18, 2006

Where's the crime?

       4 comments


Help me out here, will you?

A woman was convicted of disorderly conduct for asking a convenience store clerk to heat up in the store's microwave oven a fake plastic penis containing urine. The clerk, thinking it was a real severed penis, called the cops.

Read the story, and see if you can spot the crime. I can't. While it's certainly a strange request, I don't see a crime.

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Comments:
I'm kind of curious as to why they needed to replace the microwave, and I guess I can see the idea of the health questions of putting urine in a public microwave. I don't see where the disorderly conduct comes in, though, unless it was just the commotion and stress they caused the clerk.
I believe pretty much anything to do with urine in public is a disorderly conduct rap.

I fully support less urine in public.
Gg,

I think Yahweh agrees with you about urine in public. There are warnings all over the Bible's First and Second Kings against pissing upon walls.

1 Samuel 25:22 — So and more also do God unto the enemies of David, if I leave of all that pertain to him by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall.

1 Samuel 25:34 — For in very deed, as the LORD God of Israel liveth, which hath kept me back from hurting thee, except thou hadst hasted and come to meet me, surely there had not been left unto Nabal by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall.

1 Kings 14:10 — Therefore, behold, I will bring evil upon the house of Jeroboam, and will cut off from Jeroboam him that pisseth against the wall, and him that is shut up and left in Israel, and will take away the remnant of the house of Jeroboam, as a man taketh away dung, till it be all gone.

1 Kings 16:11 — And it came to pass, when he began to reign, as soon as he sat on his throne, that he slew all the house of Baasha: he left him not one that pisseth against a wall, neither of his kinsfolks, nor of his friends.

1 Kings 21:21 — Behold, I will bring evil upon thee, and will take away thy posterity, and will cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against the wall, and him that is shut up and left in Israel.

2 Kings 9:8 — For the whole house of Ahab shall perish: and I will cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against the wall, and him that is shut up and left in Israel.


— W.S.
All quite simple, really, and explained in two words: HEALTH CODES.

The crime could just as easily have been vandalism, because they knowingly put urine in a place where it clearly does not belong, resulting in the microwave having to be replaced. It's no different than taking a leak in the microwave as far as the codes are concerned. The oven is contaminated either way.

I suspect they were charged with diorderly conduct as a lesser charge than vandalism, in exchange for paying to replace the oven.
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